Wednesday, September 5, 2012

an open letter to the cute boy i shamelessly followed after work:


hey there.

so you were driving behind me and i saw you in my rearview mirror and i was like, whoa. that guy is cute. basically i kept staring. those cool shades, your kempt, unkempt hair, the white polo, and a ringless left hand, i mean, who wouldn't give you a second glance?

i see you drive a toyota. i also drive a toyota. i was too enthralled with your cool looks that i didn't see what kind it was but it was red and red is power. power is great. but only if you use it wisely. i mean, have you seen star wars? i'm sure you have, but you probably don't use star wars references in everyday conversation. i'm trying to work on that. my bad.

hey. i see you like water. i also like water. i keep a water bottle with me everywhere. i bet we would look good drinking water together.

uh oh. you are texting while you drive. i'm not sure how i feel about that. i'm just going to assume it is really important, like someone will die if you do not send that text this second. although, someone may die if you do send that text this second. hmm. we'll talk about this later. i'll forgive you for now.

by the way, it totally did not cross my mind to accidentally tap your bumper with my car so we would have to pull over and talk face to face. because that would be crazy. crazy. plus i'm not even wearing eyeliner or lipstick today. so it wouldn't do me much good anyway. but i did shower so my hair is looking extra thick and shiny which gives me a few bonus points... but yeah, hitting you with my car equals legitimate reason to be institutionalized. which is why it did not cross my mind once. or twice.

i love that you took the scenic, less direct, but faster route. where do you live? do you live in my apartment complex? will we realize that we live right next to each other as we get out of our cars and check the mail? are you going to ask me for my name and number, ask me out, ask me out again and again, until i tell you i only marry mormons and you say 'that's cool' and you take the discussions and you read the book of mormon and you believe every word and you get baptized and we get married in the temple a year later and live happy ever after for eternity?

oh wait. you're turning left.

don't mind me while i shamelessly stare at you as i drive by.

until we meet again, cute guy in the red toyota.


the red hot redhead in the silver rav


Samantha Brooks said...

oh, this is so funny. you are so funny.

Cassie Nafziger said...

Oh my gosh, this cracked me up! Love this post, lol. Too bad you didn't stop next to each other so you could snap a quick pic...I'm dying to see what this guy looks like!

Anonymous said...

I wish I knew who this mysterious boy was so I could send them your direction.
Love the ringless left hand comment



*AnDIe* said...

yes i do still creep on your blog.
i guess we have something in common. you creep on boys in cars and i creep on you. but this may have been my most favorite post of all time. i was seriously dying laughing. also, i'm praying that you run into him again soon, he is mormon, and you guys get married. please invite me to the wedding.

Leslie said...